Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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