Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
