so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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