How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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