What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
