That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
