Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
