I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
