"it" just moved
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
