i think my tv is drunk
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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