You smell like stripper and shame
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
