I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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