How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
