You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
