in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Randomize
