i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I forgot wine drunk hurts
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Randomize
