since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
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