She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
