My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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