I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
