yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
