Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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