marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
