I like my sex mixed with concussions.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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