I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
