I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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