good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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