we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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