What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
