Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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