Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
she pinky promised me she was 18
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
