Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
