I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
