there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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