Non-Jews are for practice
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
