doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
