Me too!
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
