New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Randomize
