i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
