i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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