I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
