ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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