I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
