We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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