he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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