he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
