Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?

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(301): View more from Maryland

You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.

(240): View more from Maryland

Why does tequilla always make you text me?

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.

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(302): View more from Delaware

I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.

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(513): View more from Ohio

My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

As in ill only blow him next week

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(906): View more from Michigan

Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.

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(540): View more from Virginia

You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men

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