I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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