i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
