I want to stick my p in your. b.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
So much rum. So many feels.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
